Ari: "Oy vey."
Parker: "Yeah, we should have retreated fifteen minutes ago."
Ethan, on why they have a rabbi in the gambling den: "We like to have the strength of God on our side when we gamble."
Parker: "Everyone is being so hostile tonight."
Ari: "Says the Gangrel!"
Parker: "Why must you turn undead existence into a sitcom?"
Cliff, to Parker: "Aren't you the same guy who suggested we do that Sabbat ritual last week?"
Parker, to Cliff: "I just want to warn you. If your roommate wakes up again, I'm going to kill him."
Parker: "Maybe the Nosferatu are like Moses. You know, plagues. Toads! Rats!"
Nathaniel: "If the Nosferatu were like Moses that would totally rock! Rivers to blood!"
Parker: "Yeah! Cockroaches!"
Ethan: "Would the two of you like to make use of the tailor?"
Parker: "Think they can make me a full-body black leather cat-suit?"
Nathaniel: "Says the Gangrel!"
Parker: "So I leave with a tree-trunk sized hole in my chest and I'm thinking this can't get any worse. Then I get home and there are eleven messages on my answering machine from YOU two and I know it can."
Cliff: "You guys are in denial. I'm the one with the wet-wipes."
Ethan: "What time is it?"
Cliff: "About half an hour before you get your ass kicked by Ari."
Cliff: "A rabbi sitting in a BMW with a shotgun? I'd be scared."
Parker: "I do the Mobea check: hit the deck, cover your head, and pray."
Hannah: "It wasn't so much coming clean as getting caught."
Parker: "Great. I'm leashed to the Camarilla's rear bumper."
Cliff: "Someone who owes you is more valuable than someone who doesn't."
Ethan: "Where do you get those cheesy sayings?"
Ari: "Fortune cookies!"
Ari: "I feel so downtrodden. Let's go kill things."
Parker: "Finally, I've found a holy man who preaches a religion I can understand."
Ari: "I liberated some ammunition from the Chantry."
Cliff: "Do you HATE yourself, man?"
Cliff: "It's . . . Tremere blankie!"
Ari: "So what are we going to do with this C4?"
Parker: "Well, I could mold it into a bust of Julius Caesar."
Cliff: "Here's the thing: I have a cow. I've had a cow for a while."
Hannah: "Please tell me you did NOT try to embrace a cow."
Karen Avery, the FBI agent: "So you and your friend the doctor and your friend who doesn't talk much and your two friends who don't have last names have a package to deliver to someone you know nothing about."
Cliff: "See, the werewolf that I met was nice and fuzzy and fun to stroke!"
[dead silence]
Cliff: " . . . the cow-to-chemical ratio . . ."
Parker: "I'm burned!"
Hannah: "That's ALL your fault."
Parker: "I didn't know they were werewolves! I thought they were park workers! With shotguns!"
Angel: "The werewolves gave Cliff a name?"
Parker: "They named him 'Cliff'. Nobody should ever call werewolves dumb."
Anthony: "I've got Fortitude and I'm alone in a car. I see myself as something of a Storyteller bulls-eye."
Joe: "I'm all the way back up at injured. Haven't seen it for a while. Must be time to get shot again."
Matt: "Can you count True Love as a merit if it's with your sister?"
Matt: "Just for fun, I cross the street REALLY FAST!"
Anthony: "I stand in traffic and don't get hurt!"
Isaac: "I piss off women!"
Matt: "I put a hundred dollars in his wallet."
Anthony: "Yeah, that's how rich people are funny."
Isaac: "Okay, shift to Crinos!"
[general panic]
Isaac: "That one gets 'em every time!"
Anthony: "I get to take the moral high ground today."
Joe: "Says the Gangrel!"
Anthony: "We went off to do Gangrel-Brujah things . . ."
Joe: ". . . which ended up being sex."
Anthony: "I run. Not a cowardly run, a brave and manly kind of run."
Anthony: "We should go to Kansas and lay low for a while, develop our powers. I could learn how to turn into a cow and a chicken."
Ben: "When one of the Storytellers takes a PC into the other room, it's like going into the woodshed, with a switch. I like it best when they come back, and the other Storyteller says, 'WHAT did you just do?'"
Chris: "Okay, I have to sit in the 'bad Storyteller' corner."
Anthony: "We should just take Mobea, Kimmy, Jan and the Tremere, put them all on a desert island . . ."
Ben: " . . . and film a reality-TV series!"
Jessica: "February 21 - Parker changes his clothes."
Jessica: "I think all players should have a fair chance to botch."
Matt: "I guess I've always assumed Alice was a Brujah because she gets mad really easily."
Jessica: "That's just because you're really annoying."
Isaac: "Cliff walks out thinking, 'Was that a date?'"
Joe: "Hannah walks out thinking, 'I hope he doesn't think that was a date.'"
Chris: "We had a meeting scheduled for 2:30 that happened at 4:45. There was 30 minutes of content and it took an hour and a half."
Isaac: "Is your boss named Robert Jordan?"